1
00:00:20,701 --> 00:00:24,700
So, this fella walks into a pub
wearing nothing but a hospital gown.

2
00:00:24,701 --> 00:00:27,380
He walks up to the barman,
and he says, "Give me four pints,

3
00:00:27,381 --> 00:00:29,460
five tequila shots
and a bottle of wine."

4
00:00:29,461 --> 00:00:30,860
The barman serves him.

5
00:00:30,861 --> 00:00:32,820
The fella lines all the drinks up,

6
00:00:32,821 --> 00:00:34,660
and he downs them
in quick succession.

7
00:00:34,661 --> 00:00:36,500
Afterwards, he says to the barman,

8
00:00:36,501 --> 00:00:39,460
"I shouldn't have done that,
not with what I've got."

9
00:00:39,461 --> 00:00:42,140
And the barman goes,
"Oh, no, what have you got?"

10
00:00:42,141 --> 00:00:44,660
And the fella goes, "About £3.50."

11
00:00:44,661 --> 00:00:47,020
LAUGHTER

12
00:00:47,021 --> 00:00:48,220
That's all he had!

13
00:00:48,221 --> 00:00:51,060
I'm here all week, folks.
I'm Frank Mann.

14
00:00:51,061 --> 00:00:52,220
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

15
00:00:52,221 --> 00:00:54,540
Eh?
Paco!

16
00:00:54,541 --> 00:00:56,260
I've got a great one
for you now, right?

17
00:00:56,261 --> 00:00:59,140
There's a monkey and a hippo
and an elephant on a desert island.

18
00:00:59,141 --> 00:01:01,100
Hey, hey!

19
00:01:01,101 --> 00:01:03,780
Vince, you old tart!

20
00:01:03,781 --> 00:01:07,060
Aww! Oh, careful!
SHE LAUGH

21
00:01:07,061 --> 00:01:09,860
So, how was your flight?

22
00:01:09,861 --> 00:01:11,580
You see I paid for extra leg room?

23
00:01:11,581 --> 00:01:14,860
Yeah, only cos
my agent made you, eh? Oh!

24
00:01:14,861 --> 00:01:17,260
You haven't met my wife, have you?
Not this one.

25
00:01:17,261 --> 00:01:21,060
Babe, can't we just, erm,
go back to the hotel?

26
00:01:21,061 --> 00:01:24,100
No, no, no, I wanna see Frank.
Eh?

27
00:01:24,101 --> 00:01:27,140
Talking of pubs,
oh, I went into one the other day.

28
00:01:27,141 --> 00:01:28,660
Horrible, it was.

29
00:01:28,661 --> 00:01:33,180
It was called The Fiddle,
ladies and gentlemen, awful pub.

30
00:01:33,181 --> 00:01:35,860
In fact, it was a vile inn.
HE MOUTHS

31
00:01:35,861 --> 00:01:37,620
LAUGHTER

32
00:01:37,621 --> 00:01:39,420
A violin. See?
LAUGHS

33
00:01:39,421 --> 00:01:41,580
So, how are the tickets selling?

34
00:01:41,581 --> 00:01:44,020
Oh, like hot cakes, Vince.

35
00:01:44,021 --> 00:01:47,060
I mean, we might have to do
a little bit of extra press,

36
00:01:47,061 --> 00:01:49,500
you know,
just to get us over the line.

37
00:01:49,501 --> 00:01:50,900
It's all good.
Whoa!

38
00:01:50,901 --> 00:01:52,660
Look at this, ladies and gentlemen.

39
00:01:52,661 --> 00:01:55,260
We have a celebrity
in the Laughter Lounge tonight,

40
00:01:55,261 --> 00:01:59,100
presenter of Quiz Bang,
Vince Starky!

41
00:01:59,101 --> 00:02:00,501
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

42
00:02:02,181 --> 00:02:03,220
Yes.

43
00:02:03,221 --> 00:02:06,740
Vince is playing five nights
at the Benidorm Palace.

44
00:02:06,741 --> 00:02:08,900
AUDIENCE: Ooh!
And I've seen him live,

45
00:02:08,901 --> 00:02:10,980
and I can tell you...

46
00:02:10,981 --> 00:02:13,260
I've had more fun
passing kidney stones.

47
00:02:13,261 --> 00:02:14,980
LAUGHTER

48
00:02:14,981 --> 00:02:17,980
I've had more fun standing on plugs.
FRANK LAUGHS

49
00:02:17,981 --> 00:02:20,700
We have a fantastic act for you
next, ladies and gentlemen.

50
00:02:20,701 --> 00:02:25,980
Please put your hands together for
Andy Morgan and his amazing organ.

51
00:02:25,981 --> 00:02:28,261
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

52
00:02:31,821 --> 00:02:34,580
Thank you, son.
So, what have we got?

53
00:02:34,581 --> 00:02:37,740
Hen do's at the back.
Nan's been on the gins.

54
00:02:37,741 --> 00:02:40,300
Perfecto. I'll get a good
ten minutes out of them later.

55
00:02:40,301 --> 00:02:41,621
Frank Mann.

56
00:02:43,621 --> 00:02:46,260
Can I have a quick word?
Course you can.

57
00:02:46,261 --> 00:02:48,260
FRANK AND VINCE: Velocity.
FRANK LAUGHS

58
00:02:48,261 --> 00:02:49,940
Hello, mate.
Hello, Vince.

59
00:02:49,941 --> 00:02:53,020
Good to see you.
Oh, this is my wife, Vienna.

60
00:02:53,021 --> 00:02:55,780
She is smiling,
she's just, er, topped up the Botox.

61
00:02:55,781 --> 00:02:58,340
Maybe wave your hands so that
we know you're laughing, eh, love?

62
00:02:58,341 --> 00:03:01,461
Say something funny, I might.
LAUGHTER

63
00:03:02,741 --> 00:03:03,860
Chris.

64
00:03:03,861 --> 00:03:05,940
Bloody hell. How you doing, kiddo?

65
00:03:05,941 --> 00:03:08,780
I'm all right. What you doing here?

66
00:03:08,781 --> 00:03:11,340
Five sell-out nights
at the Benidorm Palace, apparently.

67
00:03:11,341 --> 00:03:15,220
I meant in here.
I wanted to see you, and your dad.

68
00:03:15,221 --> 00:03:17,740
Would you mind?
Oh, yeah, course, love.

69
00:03:17,741 --> 00:03:19,060
No, not you.
Eh?

70
00:03:19,061 --> 00:03:20,300
I'm a huge fan.
Oh, no.

71
00:03:20,301 --> 00:03:22,061
Course sweetheart.
All right, here we go.

72
00:03:23,581 --> 00:03:24,941
CAMERA CLICKS

73
00:03:27,221 --> 00:03:28,781
Thank you.
All right. You're welcome.

74
00:03:30,901 --> 00:03:32,820
Can we talk?
I'm back on in five.

75
00:03:32,821 --> 00:03:34,661
Please, it's important.

76
00:03:35,901 --> 00:03:37,100
All right.

77
00:03:37,101 --> 00:03:39,260
Son, keep Vienna company.

78
00:03:39,261 --> 00:03:41,380
Try out the new routine
you've been working on.

79
00:03:41,381 --> 00:03:42,981
Shall we?

80
00:03:48,141 --> 00:03:51,260
So, are you a comedian as well,
then, or...?

81
00:03:51,261 --> 00:03:54,741
Yeah. I do more
kind of observational stuff.

82
00:03:56,061 --> 00:03:59,180
I was at the self-service checkouts
the other day, what's that about?

83
00:03:59,181 --> 00:04:00,981
Please don't.
OK.

84
00:04:07,301 --> 00:04:08,900
Do you know
what they're talking about?

85
00:04:08,901 --> 00:04:10,581
Probably bollocks.

86
00:04:29,021 --> 00:04:30,301
IN SPANISH:

87
00:04:38,901 --> 00:04:40,301
Joder!

88
00:05:41,221 --> 00:05:42,381
Got drunk with him once.

89
00:05:44,021 --> 00:05:45,980
1997.

90
00:05:45,981 --> 00:05:48,020
Children in Need's after-party.

91
00:05:48,021 --> 00:05:51,180
Ended up in Stringfellows.
CHUCKLES

92
00:05:51,181 --> 00:05:52,780
With Pudsey.

93
00:05:52,781 --> 00:05:55,660
TV: 'Mr Starky
had only been in Spain a few hours,

94
00:05:55,661 --> 00:05:58,460
'having arrived
to play a run of stand-up shows

95
00:05:58,461 --> 00:06:00,260
'at the Benidorm Palace.'

96
00:06:00,261 --> 00:06:02,980
'Mr Starky was a much-loved
celebrity in the UK,

97
00:06:02,981 --> 00:06:04,380
'and we want to assure the public

98
00:06:04,381 --> 00:06:06,420
'we will have our best people
working on this.'

99
00:06:06,421 --> 00:06:07,580
'Can you tell us more...?'

100
00:06:07,581 --> 00:06:09,221
Good luck with that!
DOOR OPENS

101
00:06:13,341 --> 00:06:15,380
Well, this is
an unexpected surprise.

102
00:06:15,381 --> 00:06:17,220
All surprises
are unexpected, Dennis.

103
00:06:17,221 --> 00:06:21,540
Hm. So, are you here
for my brains or my body?

104
00:06:21,541 --> 00:06:23,340
Cos I'm open
to a two-for-one kind of offer.

105
00:06:23,341 --> 00:06:25,420
I think I was clear
that will never happen again.

106
00:06:25,421 --> 00:06:28,300
Are we talking about the sex
or the case that I solved for you?

107
00:06:28,301 --> 00:06:29,500
You got lucky.

108
00:06:29,501 --> 00:06:32,060
You threw a dart like a drunk man
wearing a blindfold,

109
00:06:32,061 --> 00:06:33,620
and somehow,
you hit the bullseye.

110
00:06:33,621 --> 00:06:37,660
And are we talking about the sex
or the case that I solved for you?

111
00:06:37,661 --> 00:06:40,021
The case. The sex was adequate.

112
00:06:41,221 --> 00:06:43,140
Adequate several times, from memory.

113
00:06:43,141 --> 00:06:46,500
However, lucky as you were,
it is true that you displayed

114
00:06:46,501 --> 00:06:50,500
an ability to see things
that perhaps others might miss.

115
00:06:50,501 --> 00:06:52,260
Well done.

116
00:06:52,261 --> 00:06:54,820
I can appreciate how hard
that must have been for you.

117
00:06:54,821 --> 00:06:58,340
There's a lot of pressure on this
case, and I have no detectives.

118
00:06:58,341 --> 00:07:02,460
And, look, I just want you
to come and look at the crime scene.

119
00:07:02,461 --> 00:07:06,180
Weird, I'm sure you said
if I ever poked my nose

120
00:07:06,181 --> 00:07:07,820
into police business again,

121
00:07:07,821 --> 00:07:10,140
you'd shut my miserable
little pub down.

122
00:07:10,141 --> 00:07:12,661
You know, you really need
to sort out those toilets.

123
00:07:13,981 --> 00:07:14,981
What's going on?

124
00:07:16,301 --> 00:07:17,780
I'm afraid if you want Danger Mouse,

125
00:07:17,781 --> 00:07:20,300
you're gonnae have to take
Penfold as well.

126
00:07:20,301 --> 00:07:21,581
We've got a new case?

127
00:07:44,981 --> 00:07:46,981
Jesus, la puerta!

128
00:07:50,621 --> 00:07:52,180
What? I'm a human doorstop now?

129
00:07:52,181 --> 00:07:53,501
Yes.

130
00:07:55,141 --> 00:07:58,380
So, this guy is a comedian?
He was a comedian.

131
00:07:58,381 --> 00:07:59,860
Do you have to be so pedantic?

132
00:07:59,861 --> 00:08:03,020
No, I mean he was a comedian, and
then he just presented game shows.

133
00:08:03,021 --> 00:08:07,220
What shows?
Quiz Bang. Luck Be A Lady.

134
00:08:07,221 --> 00:08:08,540
It was the '90s.

135
00:08:08,541 --> 00:08:11,381
Guys, I can't hear you!
Puerta!

136
00:08:14,061 --> 00:08:16,061
There's blood in his hair.

137
00:08:21,341 --> 00:08:24,380
Madre mia, que fuerte.
Big cut on his head.

138
00:08:24,381 --> 00:08:27,221
He must have been hit
with something very big and heavy.

139
00:08:31,221 --> 00:08:32,900
Dennis.

140
00:08:32,901 --> 00:08:34,061
Come and look.

141
00:08:35,261 --> 00:08:36,300
Dennis?

142
00:08:36,301 --> 00:08:38,540
I agree. He was hit
with something big and heavy.

143
00:08:38,541 --> 00:08:41,221
What are you looking at?
Something big and heavy.

144
00:08:46,941 --> 00:08:48,261
What is it? What's going on?

145
00:08:49,661 --> 00:08:51,261
I just found the murder weapon.

146
00:09:20,981 --> 00:09:23,260
The paint's faded
cos it was kept outside.

147
00:09:23,261 --> 00:09:26,780
Why keep a fire extinguisher
on the roof? Good question.

148
00:09:26,781 --> 00:09:28,620
To use as a doorstop.

149
00:09:28,621 --> 00:09:31,220
Like we did with Jesus.
Exactly.

150
00:09:31,221 --> 00:09:33,580
Only, I imagine this is better
in an emergency.

151
00:09:33,581 --> 00:09:36,021
Guys! Can someone open the door?

152
00:09:37,101 --> 00:09:38,620
Doesn't mean it's the murder weapon.

153
00:09:38,621 --> 00:09:41,500
If it's not the murder weapon,
why chuck it off the roof?

154
00:09:41,501 --> 00:09:45,141
But if it is the murder weapon, how
did they stop the door from closing?

155
00:09:46,781 --> 00:09:48,900
That, I don't know.

156
00:09:48,901 --> 00:09:51,740
The killer would have locked
themselves in the crime scene.

157
00:09:51,741 --> 00:09:54,460
This is basically every episode
of Jonathan Creek!

158
00:09:54,461 --> 00:09:56,501
It's actually quite hot up here.

159
00:09:58,941 --> 00:10:02,061
I suppose we should help him.
Hm, yeah. We should.

160
00:10:03,701 --> 00:10:05,060
Who owns this place?

161
00:10:05,061 --> 00:10:08,860
Vince rocked up at eight,
we had a drink,

162
00:10:08,861 --> 00:10:11,340
had a bit of a chat about business.

163
00:10:11,341 --> 00:10:13,980
You were promoting his gigs
at the Benidorm Palace?

164
00:10:13,981 --> 00:10:15,220
SCOFFS

165
00:10:15,221 --> 00:10:17,860
I put the whole thing together
myself, sweetheart.

166
00:10:17,861 --> 00:10:19,260
So you were making good money?

167
00:10:19,261 --> 00:10:22,220
Well, I would of.
I mean, it was an absolute sellout.

168
00:10:22,221 --> 00:10:24,260
Did you ever go up on the roof?

169
00:10:24,261 --> 00:10:27,900
God, no. I don't do heights.
CHUCKLES

170
00:10:27,901 --> 00:10:30,180
And when Vince came to the club,
was he alone?

171
00:10:30,181 --> 00:10:33,980
Vince, alone? No, never.

172
00:10:33,981 --> 00:10:37,580
He had his latest wife in tow,
what-do-you-call-her?

173
00:10:37,581 --> 00:10:39,780
Erm... Er, Venezuela.

174
00:10:39,781 --> 00:10:43,420
Actually, it's Vienna.
We've only been married a few weeks.

175
00:10:43,421 --> 00:10:46,140
This was meant to be the start
of his comeback.

176
00:10:46,141 --> 00:10:48,100
So you checked in here at the hotel

177
00:10:48,101 --> 00:10:50,220
and went straight
to the Laughter Lounge?

178
00:10:50,221 --> 00:10:53,181
Vince wanted to talk to Frank.
About what?

179
00:10:54,981 --> 00:10:58,140
He wanted to tell me he had cancer
somewhere private.

180
00:10:58,141 --> 00:11:02,100
On the roof?
No, in his prostate.

181
00:11:02,101 --> 00:11:04,780
No, I mean where did he tell you?

182
00:11:04,781 --> 00:11:07,500
Hm! Out the front of the club.

183
00:11:07,501 --> 00:11:08,860
What happened after that?

184
00:11:08,861 --> 00:11:12,180
Well, he went back to his hotel.
I went back inside.

185
00:11:12,181 --> 00:11:14,100
What time did you leave?

186
00:11:14,101 --> 00:11:18,020
Mm. The show finished at 11.
I had a drink.

187
00:11:18,021 --> 00:11:19,620
And then me and Chris went home.

188
00:11:19,621 --> 00:11:20,741
Chris?

189
00:11:21,901 --> 00:11:23,261
Frank's my dad.

190
00:11:27,101 --> 00:11:28,620
What do you know about last night?

191
00:11:28,621 --> 00:11:31,101
Mm. Nothing.

192
00:11:32,101 --> 00:11:36,540
The bloke, the one who died,
came in, and then he left.

193
00:11:36,541 --> 00:11:39,020
That's all I know.
I didn't really talk to him.

194
00:11:39,021 --> 00:11:40,061
Thirsty?

195
00:11:41,861 --> 00:11:44,620
Mm. Bricking it.

196
00:11:44,621 --> 00:11:47,940
Ziggy's just told me I've got
my first stand-up gig tomorrow.

197
00:11:47,941 --> 00:11:49,381
Following after your old man.

198
00:11:50,981 --> 00:11:52,980
You any good?

199
00:11:52,981 --> 00:11:56,140
He's about as funny
as a turd in a sandpit,

200
00:11:56,141 --> 00:11:58,541
but I promised Frank
I'd put him on the bill.

201
00:11:59,941 --> 00:12:03,380
So now you have to cancel all of
the Benidorm Palace shows, right?

202
00:12:03,381 --> 00:12:05,260
Well, I've got no choice, have I?

203
00:12:05,261 --> 00:12:09,420
Jim Davidson offered to step in,
but I'm not that desperate.

204
00:12:09,421 --> 00:12:10,901
What time did you leave the club?

205
00:12:11,981 --> 00:12:15,300
God knows. I'm normally half-cut
way before closing.

206
00:12:15,301 --> 00:12:18,501
SMOKE ALARM BEEPS
Every bloody time.

207
00:12:27,261 --> 00:12:29,620
At what time did you leave
the Laughter Lounge?

208
00:12:29,621 --> 00:12:31,940
Er, about half past eight.

209
00:12:31,941 --> 00:12:34,220
After Vince went outside
to talk to Frank.

210
00:12:34,221 --> 00:12:36,461
And you came back here to the hotel
with Vince?

211
00:12:37,941 --> 00:12:42,461
Yes. I, erm... I went to bed,
but he went to the bar.

212
00:12:43,981 --> 00:12:47,220
When's the last time you saw him?
Just after nine.

213
00:12:47,221 --> 00:12:52,540
Er, sorry to interrupt.
These are from... Bobby Davro.

214
00:12:52,541 --> 00:12:53,620
Who?

215
00:12:53,621 --> 00:12:57,340
HE CHUCKLES
Just put them with the others.

216
00:12:57,341 --> 00:12:59,020
Sure.

217
00:12:59,021 --> 00:13:01,500
Why do you think Vince was keen to
tell you about his illness?

218
00:13:01,501 --> 00:13:03,660
I think that's what happens
when you get ill.

219
00:13:03,661 --> 00:13:06,460
You don't wanna put anything off.
Here, Frank.

220
00:13:06,461 --> 00:13:09,421
Oh, I'll put it with the rest.
I thank you.

221
00:13:11,541 --> 00:13:14,301
Other than Ziggy, does anybody else
have a key to the club?

222
00:13:15,821 --> 00:13:20,701
Yeah, Paco. Yeah, the doorman.
He locks up every night.

223
00:13:21,821 --> 00:13:25,901
He found Vince on the roof.
Shaken him up a bit.

224
00:13:27,381 --> 00:13:29,300
Nunca habia visto un cadaver.

225
00:13:29,301 --> 00:13:31,021
"I had never seen a dead body."

226
00:13:33,301 --> 00:13:35,740
Touch your hand.
"I touched his hand."

227
00:13:35,741 --> 00:13:39,460
His skin red from the sun.
"His skin was red from the sun."

228
00:13:39,461 --> 00:13:42,180
But it was cold.
"But cold."

229
00:13:42,181 --> 00:13:44,340
Frost.
"So cold."

230
00:13:44,341 --> 00:13:45,540
I said no.
"I said no."

231
00:13:45,541 --> 00:13:46,580
Node.
"Node."

232
00:13:46,581 --> 00:13:48,741
You can't be dead.
"Don't be dead."

233
00:13:49,861 --> 00:13:52,100
But it was too late.
"But it was too late."

234
00:13:52,101 --> 00:13:54,461
He was dead.
"He was dead."

235
00:13:55,741 --> 00:13:57,740
And what time
did he lock up the club?

236
00:13:57,741 --> 00:13:59,100
What time did you close the club?

237
00:13:59,101 --> 00:14:00,900
At two in the morning.

238
00:14:00,901 --> 00:14:02,660
And 2am.

239
00:14:02,661 --> 00:14:04,780
When was the last time
he saw Vince alive?

240
00:14:04,781 --> 00:14:07,940
When was the last time
What did I see him alive?

241
00:14:07,941 --> 00:14:11,060
Maybe at...
at eight thirty.

242
00:14:11,061 --> 00:14:12,980
Around 8:30.
Out with Frank.

243
00:14:12,981 --> 00:14:14,700
He was outside with Frank.

244
00:14:14,701 --> 00:14:18,500
Now I know that the angel of death
will haunt us all.

245
00:14:18,501 --> 00:14:22,140
"Now I know we are all haunted
by the angel of death."

246
00:14:22,141 --> 00:14:24,260
And what were they talking about?

247
00:14:24,261 --> 00:14:25,261
What were they talking about?

248
00:14:27,021 --> 00:14:28,220
They were arguing.

249
00:14:28,221 --> 00:14:29,580
"They were arguing."

250
00:14:29,581 --> 00:14:32,540
Vince was very agitated.
"Vince was very agitated."

251
00:14:32,541 --> 00:14:35,060
But with a lot of life.
"Very animated."

252
00:14:35,061 --> 00:14:38,140
What to do with the body
lifeless on the roof.

253
00:14:38,141 --> 00:14:41,220
"Unlike the lifeless husk
"I found on the roof."

254
00:14:41,221 --> 00:14:43,780
And there definitely couldn't
have been anyone else on the roof

255
00:14:43,781 --> 00:14:44,860
when have I found the body?

256
00:14:44,861 --> 00:14:47,660
And I'm sure there was no one else.
on the roof?

257
00:14:47,661 --> 00:14:52,220
No way. There was no one.
It was just the two of us.

258
00:14:52,221 --> 00:14:53,541
No.

259
00:14:54,981 --> 00:14:57,180
The door to the roof.
How did he keep that open?

260
00:14:57,181 --> 00:14:58,901
How did they keep the door open?

261
00:15:00,261 --> 00:15:02,660
The engineer had
a toolbox.

262
00:15:02,661 --> 00:15:05,020
"The engineer had a tool box."
Mm.

263
00:15:05,021 --> 00:15:08,060
Why do you ask so many questions? "Why
are you asking so many questions?"

264
00:15:08,061 --> 00:15:09,660
Estais locos?
"Are you crazy?"

265
00:15:09,661 --> 00:15:11,740
Un hombre esta muerto.
"A man is dead."

266
00:15:11,741 --> 00:15:13,340
Ay, Dios mio.
"Oh, my God."

267
00:15:13,341 --> 00:15:14,660
Aun puedo ver su cara.

268
00:15:14,661 --> 00:15:16,300
"I can still see his face."

269
00:15:16,301 --> 00:15:18,341
EXHALES SHARPLY

270
00:15:41,941 --> 00:15:44,500
Who's Carla?
No-one.

271
00:15:44,501 --> 00:15:47,501
I knew it!
You have a secret lady friend.

272
00:15:48,821 --> 00:15:51,900
What's this?
This is the window of death.

273
00:15:51,901 --> 00:15:55,980
The last person to see Vince alive
was Vienna, just after 9pm,

274
00:15:55,981 --> 00:15:58,460
and the club was closed
at about 2am.

275
00:15:58,461 --> 00:16:01,460
So at some point during this time,

276
00:16:01,461 --> 00:16:04,941
somehow, Vince got on the roof
and someone killed him.

277
00:16:06,101 --> 00:16:09,220
So who's your money on?
It's too early to make guesses.

278
00:16:09,221 --> 00:16:11,260
Oh, come on. You saw the same as me.

279
00:16:11,261 --> 00:16:15,380
Oh, I see, you wanna be all clever
and do your little show-off.

280
00:16:15,381 --> 00:16:18,180
Go ahead,
what did you see that I missed?

281
00:16:18,181 --> 00:16:21,260
Well, Chris, the son, drinking
like a fish to steady his nerves.

282
00:16:21,261 --> 00:16:25,181
The bloke, the one who died,
came in, and then he left.

283
00:16:26,541 --> 00:16:29,260
That's all I know.
I didn't really talk to him.

284
00:16:29,261 --> 00:16:32,780
Never used the victim's name.
Classic sign of a guilty conscience.

285
00:16:32,781 --> 00:16:35,580
Maybe.
But he was nervous for his gig. Mm.

286
00:16:35,581 --> 00:16:37,220
Then Ziggy, the old lush.

287
00:16:37,221 --> 00:16:41,020
Said she rarely went on the roof,
but... I don't believe her.

288
00:16:41,021 --> 00:16:45,100
SMOKE ALARM BEEPS
Every bloody time. Ugh.

289
00:16:45,101 --> 00:16:47,140
Lighting up in her office
set the smoke alarm off,

290
00:16:47,141 --> 00:16:48,900
so I think she did go to the roof.

291
00:16:48,901 --> 00:16:50,260
How do you know that?

292
00:16:50,261 --> 00:16:52,660
Did you not see the black marks
on the wall

293
00:16:52,661 --> 00:16:54,340
where she stubbed her fags out?

294
00:16:54,341 --> 00:16:58,020
Why would Ziggy kill Vince?
He was about to make her a fortune.

295
00:16:58,021 --> 00:17:00,780
I'm only pointing out
the discrepancies in her story.

296
00:17:00,781 --> 00:17:04,580
Obviously, Vienna was lying.
Obviously.

297
00:17:04,581 --> 00:17:06,980
And you came back here
to the hotel with Vince?

298
00:17:06,981 --> 00:17:08,540
Yes.

299
00:17:08,541 --> 00:17:12,340
I, erm... I went to bed,
but he went to the bar.

300
00:17:12,341 --> 00:17:15,460
She said she went to bed, but did
you not see the mark on her wrist?

301
00:17:15,461 --> 00:17:19,301
Sorry to interrupt.
These are from... Bobby Davro.

302
00:17:20,661 --> 00:17:24,500
Who? Just...
put them with the others.

303
00:17:24,501 --> 00:17:28,021
She had a stamp for Cheeky's
Foam Disco from the night before.

304
00:17:29,341 --> 00:17:31,660
Why would she lie?

305
00:17:31,661 --> 00:17:33,221
Don't tell me you didn't see that?

306
00:17:34,461 --> 00:17:36,621
Stop asking questions
you already know the answer to.

307
00:17:38,461 --> 00:17:39,660
So what next?

308
00:17:39,661 --> 00:17:42,260
Well, I think another pint.

309
00:17:42,261 --> 00:17:44,020
I think it's important to tell you

310
00:17:44,021 --> 00:17:47,380
that I am currently finding you
very irritating.

311
00:17:47,381 --> 00:17:48,900
Tomorrow, we'll go
and talk to Frank,

312
00:17:48,901 --> 00:17:50,621
see what the argument with Vince
was about.

313
00:18:04,501 --> 00:18:06,061
RINGING TONE

314
00:18:08,701 --> 00:18:11,100
VOICEMAIL: 'Please leave a message
after the tone.'

315
00:18:11,101 --> 00:18:13,301
BEEP
Carla, hello.

316
00:18:14,501 --> 00:18:15,900
Er, sorry it's late.

317
00:18:15,901 --> 00:18:18,780
I just wanted to
wish you a happy birthday.

318
00:18:18,781 --> 00:18:21,181
So... happy birthday.

319
00:18:22,701 --> 00:18:23,981
It's your dad, by the way.

320
00:18:26,821 --> 00:18:30,460
Anyway... if you ever wanted
to give me a call,

321
00:18:30,461 --> 00:18:31,941
it would be good to hear from you.

322
00:18:33,501 --> 00:18:35,580
I'd like that.

323
00:18:35,581 --> 00:18:38,341
So... Yeah. OK.

324
00:19:13,821 --> 00:19:15,421
PHONE RINGS

325
00:19:19,381 --> 00:19:21,061
Benidorm Volunteer Police Service.

326
00:19:22,541 --> 00:19:24,340
I just got a call
from an insurance company

327
00:19:24,341 --> 00:19:27,220
asking for more information
about Vince Starky's death.

328
00:19:27,221 --> 00:19:30,140
Wife already cashing in
the life insurance, is she?

329
00:19:30,141 --> 00:19:33,220
No, not his wife.
Ziggy, the comedy promotor.

330
00:19:33,221 --> 00:19:34,741
She took...
CRUNCHING

331
00:19:45,381 --> 00:19:48,700
She took out event insurance on
Vince's gigs at the Benidorm Palace.

332
00:19:48,701 --> 00:19:52,860
'His death means she's set for
a big pay-out.' And?

333
00:19:52,861 --> 00:19:54,581
It's a motive.

334
00:19:56,421 --> 00:19:58,420
Well, the gigs were making her
a fortune already.

335
00:19:58,421 --> 00:19:59,780
Killing him doesn't make sense.

336
00:19:59,781 --> 00:20:01,741
'Thanks, though.'
DISCONNECT TONE

337
00:20:17,061 --> 00:20:19,020
So, who remembers Salt and Shake?

338
00:20:19,021 --> 00:20:20,580
You remember them?
MOUTHS ALONG

339
00:20:20,581 --> 00:20:23,500
Them crisps that you had to add
your own salt to?

340
00:20:23,501 --> 00:20:25,580
What's that about, eh?

341
00:20:25,581 --> 00:20:28,340
Why do I have to
do their job for 'em?

342
00:20:28,341 --> 00:20:30,940
What next,
a packet of crisps that just comes

343
00:20:30,941 --> 00:20:33,260
with a raw potato inside the bag?

344
00:20:33,261 --> 00:20:34,261
Can we have a word?

345
00:20:36,341 --> 00:20:38,260
Uh... Er...
That was really nice, pal.

346
00:20:38,261 --> 00:20:40,341
Why don't you take a break, eh?

347
00:20:42,621 --> 00:20:43,701
Good lad.

348
00:20:46,861 --> 00:20:49,060
We know you and Vince
argued last night.

349
00:20:49,061 --> 00:20:50,341
What was that about?

350
00:20:55,021 --> 00:20:58,500
Me and Vince have kept a secret
for the last 30 years.

351
00:20:58,501 --> 00:21:00,221
That he was really Chris's dad.

352
00:21:01,461 --> 00:21:03,500
How did you know that?

353
00:21:03,501 --> 00:21:06,421
Well it was just a hunch, based on
the fact they look exactly the same.

354
00:21:08,421 --> 00:21:12,061
You saw that too, right, didn't you?
Yeah. What happened?

355
00:21:13,901 --> 00:21:16,220
Me and Vince were a double act
back in the day.

356
00:21:16,221 --> 00:21:19,060
We called ourselves
Half Rice Half Chips.

357
00:21:19,061 --> 00:21:21,260
They called us
a poor man's Little and Large.

358
00:21:21,261 --> 00:21:22,660
And which one were you?

359
00:21:22,661 --> 00:21:25,821
Oh, funny.
What are you two, The Krankies?

360
00:21:27,261 --> 00:21:29,860
Father and son,
but actually, they were married.

361
00:21:29,861 --> 00:21:31,780
Never mind. Go on.

362
00:21:31,781 --> 00:21:34,540
Anyway, we did one summer
at Butlin's Minehead.

363
00:21:34,541 --> 00:21:37,300
Yeah, it was great days.
Me and Vince were banging the...

364
00:21:37,301 --> 00:21:41,540
We were... were sleeping
with the same Redcoat, Linda.

365
00:21:41,541 --> 00:21:42,860
Yeah.

366
00:21:42,861 --> 00:21:45,740
I mean, these things happen.
We were young.

367
00:21:45,741 --> 00:21:47,420
But me and Linda ended up
falling in love,

368
00:21:47,421 --> 00:21:51,700
only to find out that she was
pregnant with Vince's kid.

369
00:21:51,701 --> 00:21:53,420
How do you know
that it wasn't yours?

370
00:21:53,421 --> 00:21:56,700
Well, I'll spare you the details,

371
00:21:56,701 --> 00:22:01,180
but, er, I had a very serious bout
of mumps as a kid.

372
00:22:01,181 --> 00:22:05,220
My testes swelled up to more
than four times their usual size.

373
00:22:05,221 --> 00:22:06,740
I mean, from this angle,

374
00:22:06,741 --> 00:22:09,100
looked like
a one-eared space hopper.

375
00:22:09,101 --> 00:22:11,460
Thank you
for sparing me the details (!)

376
00:22:11,461 --> 00:22:13,460
I mean, I have always fired blanks.

377
00:22:13,461 --> 00:22:15,820
But Linda,
she still wanted to keep the baby,

378
00:22:15,821 --> 00:22:18,260
and I realised that, well,

379
00:22:18,261 --> 00:22:20,540
it was probably my last chance
of being a dad,

380
00:22:20,541 --> 00:22:24,460
so we all agreed together,
as a three,

381
00:22:24,461 --> 00:22:26,980
that me and Linda
should raise the kid as our own

382
00:22:26,981 --> 00:22:29,180
and nobody else
needed to know the truth.

383
00:22:29,181 --> 00:22:31,860
I mean, not even our Chris.

384
00:22:31,861 --> 00:22:33,220
And you never told him?

385
00:22:33,221 --> 00:22:37,100
And then Vince went off to do telly.
I carried on working the clubs.

386
00:22:37,101 --> 00:22:40,420
Me and Linda split up, and then
Chris went to live with her.

387
00:22:40,421 --> 00:22:42,300
So why now?

388
00:22:42,301 --> 00:22:45,540
Why did Vince want Chris to know
the truth after all this time?

389
00:22:45,541 --> 00:22:49,580
I think being ill scared him.
He said he wanted Chris to know.

390
00:22:49,581 --> 00:22:53,140
But I'd only just got him back
in MY life, you know?

391
00:22:53,141 --> 00:22:55,300
Telling Chris the truth
would have ruined all that.

392
00:22:55,301 --> 00:22:59,380
Yeah, and I told Vince as much.
It got a bit heated.

393
00:22:59,381 --> 00:23:01,580
B-But I was compering the show,
you know?

394
00:23:01,581 --> 00:23:03,741
I've got a room full of people
that can tell you that.

395
00:23:05,781 --> 00:23:08,740
I never saw Vince again
after that moment,

396
00:23:08,741 --> 00:23:10,901
and that is the God's honest truth.

397
00:23:18,181 --> 00:23:20,740
So Vince was going to set off
a big truth bomb.

398
00:23:20,741 --> 00:23:23,060
Maybe he was killed to keep quiet.

399
00:23:23,061 --> 00:23:25,421
KNOCK AT DOOR
What are you doing?

400
00:23:27,421 --> 00:23:29,341
Just taking a wee keek
before we leave.

401
00:23:31,661 --> 00:23:34,980
"Keek"? What is this?
You can't just make up words.

402
00:23:34,981 --> 00:23:37,701
You know, maybe for the next
few minutes, we just don't talk?

403
00:23:46,541 --> 00:23:49,380
You know, Frank says a roomful
of people can vouch for him,

404
00:23:49,381 --> 00:23:51,460
but he was only the compere
of the shows,

405
00:23:51,461 --> 00:23:53,100
so he was only introducing the acts.

406
00:23:53,101 --> 00:23:54,820
Plenty of time
when he was not on stage

407
00:23:54,821 --> 00:23:56,260
when he could have killed Vince.

408
00:23:56,261 --> 00:23:58,341
His alibi means nothing.

409
00:24:02,141 --> 00:24:03,820
Help me find the key for this.

410
00:24:03,821 --> 00:24:06,140
DISTANT BUZZING

411
00:24:06,141 --> 00:24:07,501
What's that buzzing?

412
00:24:09,501 --> 00:24:10,861
I dread to think.

413
00:24:11,941 --> 00:24:12,981
Eurgh.

414
00:24:14,661 --> 00:24:15,861
No.

415
00:24:17,181 --> 00:24:18,341
Eurgh!

416
00:24:21,741 --> 00:24:23,980
BUZZING INTENSIFIES

417
00:24:23,981 --> 00:24:26,061
Surely you wash it after you use it.

418
00:24:31,381 --> 00:24:33,220
SHE SIGHS

419
00:24:33,221 --> 00:24:34,981
Ah-ha. There it is.

420
00:24:36,381 --> 00:24:39,900
So what do you think about Frank?
He could have killed Vince, right?

421
00:24:39,901 --> 00:24:42,101
Maybe. But then there's Vienna.

422
00:24:45,621 --> 00:24:48,741
Please can we leave?
HE BLOWS LIPS

423
00:24:53,061 --> 00:24:54,180
Why Vienna?

424
00:24:54,181 --> 00:24:58,301
Because she's the brand-new wife,
and Vince was worth a few bob.

425
00:24:59,381 --> 00:25:00,860
Really, Dennis?

426
00:25:00,861 --> 00:25:05,540
What a tired old stereotype,
the gold-digging wife.

427
00:25:05,541 --> 00:25:08,460
Maybe she married him for,
I don't know, love?

428
00:25:08,461 --> 00:25:10,221
Maybe she's already a millionaire.

429
00:25:11,341 --> 00:25:13,301
Well, if she wasn't before,
she certainly is now.

430
00:25:14,421 --> 00:25:16,861
And we need to know
what she was doing last night.

431
00:25:19,221 --> 00:25:20,540
We should speak to Jackie.

432
00:25:20,541 --> 00:25:22,101
Who's Jackie?

433
00:25:24,661 --> 00:25:25,741
This is Jackie.

434
00:25:30,581 --> 00:25:31,740
You're in my light.

435
00:25:31,741 --> 00:25:33,741
Jackie, this is Dennis.

436
00:25:37,141 --> 00:25:38,301
SHE SIGHS

437
00:25:40,661 --> 00:25:43,340
Apparently, you know the word
on the street. What?

438
00:25:43,341 --> 00:25:46,060
We need some information.
What is he saying?

439
00:25:46,061 --> 00:25:48,620
We were wondering if you knew
anything about Vince Starky.

440
00:25:48,621 --> 00:25:52,700
Oh, waste of money.
I sold three tickets.

441
00:25:52,701 --> 00:25:54,541
You were selling tickets
to his show?

442
00:25:55,621 --> 00:25:57,661
I sell tickets to all the shows.

443
00:26:00,541 --> 00:26:01,860
Who is Messy Nessy?

444
00:26:01,861 --> 00:26:05,900
Like Sticky Vicky,
but not so classy.

445
00:26:05,901 --> 00:26:07,861
So Vince's show wasn't selling?

446
00:26:09,101 --> 00:26:10,141
Is he all right?

447
00:26:11,941 --> 00:26:13,340
He looks like a hot bollock.

448
00:26:13,341 --> 00:26:16,501
He's fine. He's from Scotland.
Where?

449
00:26:17,701 --> 00:26:18,860
Never heard of it.

450
00:26:18,861 --> 00:26:22,140
Jackie, did you say that Vince's
show wasn't selling any tickets?

451
00:26:22,141 --> 00:26:23,340
Ziggy said it was a sellout.

452
00:26:23,341 --> 00:26:25,940
Sellout? Pfft!
CHUCKLING: Oh, no.

453
00:26:25,941 --> 00:26:28,220
Oh, so you do understand
what I'm saying?

454
00:26:28,221 --> 00:26:29,660
What?

455
00:26:29,661 --> 00:26:32,341
Seriously? What is her problem?

456
00:26:45,581 --> 00:26:47,220
RINGING TONE

457
00:26:47,221 --> 00:26:49,220
VOICEMAIL: 'Este es el buzon
de Maria Hernandez.

458
00:26:49,221 --> 00:26:51,780
'Deja tu mensaje
despues de la senal.'

459
00:26:51,781 --> 00:26:54,620
BEEP
Er, Maria, hi, this is Dennis.

460
00:26:54,621 --> 00:26:56,300
I'm gonna need something from you,

461
00:26:56,301 --> 00:27:00,020
the CCTV footage
from Vincent's hotel for last night.

462
00:27:00,021 --> 00:27:04,020
Oh, and a photograph of you in the
bath coquettishly holding a loofah.

463
00:27:04,021 --> 00:27:05,300
That last one is crucial

464
00:27:05,301 --> 00:27:07,460
if we're gonna have any chance
of solving this.

465
00:27:07,461 --> 00:27:08,741
OK. Thanks.

466
00:27:09,941 --> 00:27:12,180
So, I spoke to
the box office manager.

467
00:27:12,181 --> 00:27:15,340
Vince Starky had sold
less than 25% of his tickets

468
00:27:15,341 --> 00:27:17,100
for his five-night run.

469
00:27:17,101 --> 00:27:18,980
So the man who hosted
Celebrity Quiz Bang

470
00:27:18,981 --> 00:27:21,060
is no longer
a big box-office success.

471
00:27:21,061 --> 00:27:23,380
It means Ziggy was about to lose
her deposit.

472
00:27:23,381 --> 00:27:25,460
She would have owed the theatre
thousands of euros.

473
00:27:25,461 --> 00:27:27,901
That's on top of the thousands
of euros that she already owes.

474
00:27:29,941 --> 00:27:31,580
So now what?

475
00:27:31,581 --> 00:27:33,660
Well, I don't know about you,
but I'm pretty hungry.

476
00:27:33,661 --> 00:27:36,020
Ooh, yes, let's get sushi.
Or a Chinese?

477
00:27:36,021 --> 00:27:37,940
Sushi's like Chinese, but healthy.

478
00:27:37,941 --> 00:27:40,220
Chinese is like sushi, but nice.

479
00:27:40,221 --> 00:27:43,900
Come on, Dennis, just open your mind
a little bit. For me?

480
00:27:43,901 --> 00:27:45,461
TV PLAYS

481
00:27:51,421 --> 00:27:53,221
Postmortem results.

482
00:27:54,981 --> 00:27:56,981
Victim died of blunt force trauma.

483
00:27:59,781 --> 00:28:01,660
Mm.

484
00:28:01,661 --> 00:28:05,060
Gone right off that.
We got the CCTV from the hotel.

485
00:28:05,061 --> 00:28:09,020
It shows Vince and Vienna return
to the hotel having a big argument.

486
00:28:09,021 --> 00:28:10,900
About what?
There was no sound,

487
00:28:10,901 --> 00:28:12,900
but we got a lip reader
to translate.

488
00:28:12,901 --> 00:28:14,061
Here's a transcript.

489
00:28:16,501 --> 00:28:19,180
Vienna - I can't believe
you're doing this.

490
00:28:19,181 --> 00:28:22,780
Vince - please, babe,
this is important to me.

491
00:28:22,781 --> 00:28:25,260
Vienna -
you said when we got married

492
00:28:25,261 --> 00:28:26,900
it was just gonna be me and you.

493
00:28:26,901 --> 00:28:30,940
He'll move in with us,
and I'm not sharing you with some -

494
00:28:30,941 --> 00:28:34,060
expletive deleted -
lanky - expletive deleted -

495
00:28:34,061 --> 00:28:36,420
streak of - expletive deleted,

496
00:28:36,421 --> 00:28:41,100
expletive deleted,
expletive deleted - piss.

497
00:28:41,101 --> 00:28:42,541
Do you know what this is about?

498
00:28:48,941 --> 00:28:50,900
Vince told you the truth
about Chris, didn't he?

499
00:28:50,901 --> 00:28:54,300
That he was his real dad
and wanted to be part of his life.

500
00:28:54,301 --> 00:28:55,940
Yeah. So?

501
00:28:55,941 --> 00:28:59,021
"So"? It's motive.

502
00:29:00,061 --> 00:29:02,260
The CCTV showed you
get out of the lift,

503
00:29:02,261 --> 00:29:04,380
but Vince goes back down
and exits the hotel.

504
00:29:04,381 --> 00:29:05,580
Do you know where he went?

505
00:29:05,581 --> 00:29:09,340
He said he was going to get
another drink. And you?

506
00:29:09,341 --> 00:29:11,100
You said you went to bed.

507
00:29:11,101 --> 00:29:13,180
I...
Don't bother lying.

508
00:29:13,181 --> 00:29:15,940
I left a perfectly acceptable plate
of pork balls for this.

509
00:29:15,941 --> 00:29:18,180
You went out, didn't you?

510
00:29:18,181 --> 00:29:21,820
I wanted some fun.
That is not a crime.

511
00:29:21,821 --> 00:29:23,940
I mean, you know what it's like,

512
00:29:23,941 --> 00:29:27,780
us young guys,
we like to make party, yeah?

513
00:29:27,781 --> 00:29:29,501
Not really.

514
00:29:30,541 --> 00:29:33,500
Did you see Vince again
after he left you at the lift? No.

515
00:29:33,501 --> 00:29:35,420
Because there's a theory
kicking about

516
00:29:35,421 --> 00:29:37,260
that you only married Vince
for his money,

517
00:29:37,261 --> 00:29:39,060
and when you found out
there was someone else

518
00:29:39,061 --> 00:29:41,340
you'd have to share it with,
you followed him to the club,

519
00:29:41,341 --> 00:29:42,820
got him onto the roof and killed him

520
00:29:42,821 --> 00:29:44,340
before he could tell Chris
the truth.

521
00:29:44,341 --> 00:29:48,660
Then you went out and drank your
guilt away at Cheeky's Foam Disco.

522
00:29:48,661 --> 00:29:50,860
Well, let me give you
another theory -

523
00:29:50,861 --> 00:29:52,260
that I went out to unwind,

524
00:29:52,261 --> 00:29:55,220
as people do
at a foam party disco and casino,

525
00:29:55,221 --> 00:29:56,820
and when I woke up the next morning,

526
00:29:56,821 --> 00:30:00,380
I found that the love of my life
had been brutally murdered.

527
00:30:00,381 --> 00:30:01,860
And to make matters worse,

528
00:30:01,861 --> 00:30:05,461
I am accused of killing him
by some weird Scottish homeless man.

529
00:30:09,461 --> 00:30:12,381
What do you think?
Maybe just have a shave.

530
00:30:15,781 --> 00:30:17,700
LAUGHTER

531
00:30:17,701 --> 00:30:20,820
And she says, "Why do you think
I chose the pink ones?"

532
00:30:20,821 --> 00:30:22,181
LAUGHTER

533
00:30:24,421 --> 00:30:25,780
Who here likes a curry?

534
00:30:25,781 --> 00:30:27,540
CHEERING

535
00:30:27,541 --> 00:30:30,380
I love a curry, me. Oh, yeah.

536
00:30:30,381 --> 00:30:32,500
My favourite is chicken Tarka.

537
00:30:32,501 --> 00:30:34,980
It's like a chicken tikka,
only a little 'otter.

538
00:30:34,981 --> 00:30:36,780
Eh?
LAUGHTER

539
00:30:36,781 --> 00:30:39,140
Right, then,
first act out tonight

540
00:30:39,141 --> 00:30:42,380
is a young comedian just setting out
on his comedy career.

541
00:30:42,381 --> 00:30:44,020
He's a brilliant talent,

542
00:30:44,021 --> 00:30:47,300
and I'm proud to say,
ladies and gentlemen, my son.

543
00:30:47,301 --> 00:30:48,500
AUDIENCE: Aww.

544
00:30:48,501 --> 00:30:51,500
So with that in mind, please give
a big Laughter Lounge welcome

545
00:30:51,501 --> 00:30:53,020
to Chris Mann!

546
00:30:53,021 --> 00:30:55,381
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

547
00:30:59,101 --> 00:31:00,341
Chris Mann.

548
00:31:02,501 --> 00:31:05,620
Kids, eh? When they're little,
you just wanna eat 'em, don't you?

549
00:31:05,621 --> 00:31:07,220
But when they grow up,
you wish you had.

550
00:31:07,221 --> 00:31:09,340
LAUGHTER

551
00:31:09,341 --> 00:31:11,020
Chris?

552
00:31:11,021 --> 00:31:12,501
Where the bloody hell are you?

553
00:31:17,341 --> 00:31:18,421
Thought you had a gig?

554
00:31:20,381 --> 00:31:21,381
It was me.

555
00:31:23,461 --> 00:31:24,661
I killed him.

556
00:31:38,861 --> 00:31:41,941
Now, in your own time, just...
tell us what happened.

557
00:31:45,181 --> 00:31:48,140
Dad... was on stage.

558
00:31:48,141 --> 00:31:49,261
I'm behind the bar.

559
00:31:50,741 --> 00:31:53,661
I look up, and I see Vince
has come back in to the club.

560
00:31:54,861 --> 00:31:57,220
And he told me
he wanted to talk to me.

561
00:31:57,221 --> 00:32:01,100
Said it was important,
it had to be somewhere quiet.

562
00:32:01,101 --> 00:32:03,821
So I told him to meet me
up on the roof.

563
00:32:05,021 --> 00:32:06,460
Had you been on the roof before?

564
00:32:06,461 --> 00:32:09,260
Er, yeah. Yeah, we...
We take our breaks up there.

565
00:32:09,261 --> 00:32:12,220
Just as a matter of interest,
how did you keep the door open?

566
00:32:12,221 --> 00:32:13,540
We used a fire extinguisher.

567
00:32:13,541 --> 00:32:14,941
Oh...

568
00:32:17,101 --> 00:32:18,501
Please go on.

569
00:32:19,741 --> 00:32:22,540
Vince said he wished
it didn't have to be like this,

570
00:32:22,541 --> 00:32:27,020
but once he realised he had to tell
me the truth, he couldn't settle.

571
00:32:27,021 --> 00:32:28,181
It had to be now.

572
00:32:29,621 --> 00:32:31,621
He said the gigs in Benidorm
meant nothing to him.

573
00:32:33,061 --> 00:32:35,261
The real reason he was here
was for me...

574
00:32:37,301 --> 00:32:38,421
...cos I'm his son.

575
00:32:42,501 --> 00:32:43,901
Then what happened?

576
00:32:45,501 --> 00:32:47,021
I just couldn't get my head
around it.

577
00:32:49,381 --> 00:32:53,300
All these people in my life
who are meant to love me...

578
00:32:53,301 --> 00:32:54,461
were liars.

579
00:32:56,261 --> 00:32:57,901
My whole life, they'd been liars.

580
00:32:59,941 --> 00:33:04,341
Then Vince said something like,
"This is a good thing..."

581
00:33:06,901 --> 00:33:08,381
...and I just flipped.

582
00:33:09,501 --> 00:33:12,061
I went mental, proper raging.

583
00:33:13,301 --> 00:33:14,460
Don't touch me!

584
00:33:14,461 --> 00:33:16,540
This is a good thing.
For who?

585
00:33:16,541 --> 00:33:18,260
'And I pushed him.

586
00:33:18,261 --> 00:33:21,741
'Just once, I swear.
It were only once.'

587
00:33:22,781 --> 00:33:24,101
CHRIS SNIFFLES

588
00:33:25,701 --> 00:33:26,821
I panicked.

589
00:33:29,261 --> 00:33:30,661
And then I ran.

590
00:33:33,501 --> 00:33:35,661
And then when I heard the next day
he was dead...

591
00:33:36,861 --> 00:33:39,781
I... I just couldn't say anything.

592
00:33:41,901 --> 00:33:43,221
HE SOBS

593
00:33:55,021 --> 00:33:57,060
Hey, don't cry.

594
00:33:57,061 --> 00:33:58,701
I meant arrest him.

595
00:34:02,501 --> 00:34:03,740
So you just pushed him?

596
00:34:03,741 --> 00:34:07,101
You didn't whack him over the head
with the fire extinguisher?

597
00:34:08,301 --> 00:34:09,500
No.

598
00:34:09,501 --> 00:34:12,340
Hey, you can't be right every time.

599
00:34:12,341 --> 00:34:13,980
There's something else
going on here.

600
00:34:13,981 --> 00:34:15,581
Dennis, he confessed.

601
00:34:16,901 --> 00:34:18,981
Turn the TV on, watch your sport.

602
00:34:21,581 --> 00:34:22,941
I'm sorry, Dad.

603
00:34:24,341 --> 00:34:27,260
It's all right.
It's all right, pal...

604
00:34:27,261 --> 00:34:30,461
Hey, it's gonna be all right.

605
00:34:57,821 --> 00:34:59,741
MUSIC PLAYS

606
00:35:08,861 --> 00:35:10,541
PHONE RINGS

607
00:35:15,461 --> 00:35:17,420
Carla. Hi. Hello.

608
00:35:17,421 --> 00:35:20,700
'No, sorry. I'm Sam.

609
00:35:20,701 --> 00:35:22,460
'Carla's boyfriend.'

610
00:35:22,461 --> 00:35:25,701
Oh. I didn't know Carla
had a boyfriend.

611
00:35:27,021 --> 00:35:29,180
How long have you guys been
together?

612
00:35:29,181 --> 00:35:30,661
'About two years.'

613
00:35:32,181 --> 00:35:33,541
Right. Well...

614
00:35:35,021 --> 00:35:36,301
...nice to meet you, Sam.

615
00:35:37,301 --> 00:35:39,181
Hey, you and Carla
should come to Benidorm.

616
00:35:40,501 --> 00:35:42,180
'Yeah...

617
00:35:42,181 --> 00:35:44,901
'So, Carla wanted me to call
and ask you not to ring her again.

618
00:35:46,261 --> 00:35:47,341
'Sorry.'

619
00:35:49,621 --> 00:35:51,061
Well, there you are.

620
00:35:53,661 --> 00:35:55,181
Is this coming from her mum?

621
00:35:56,381 --> 00:35:59,740
'I need to go. Sorry.'

622
00:35:59,741 --> 00:36:01,101
DISCONNECT TONE

623
00:36:09,381 --> 00:36:10,741
TV PLAYS

624
00:36:14,341 --> 00:36:16,820
'Figures from across
the British entertainment industry

625
00:36:16,821 --> 00:36:19,380
'have been paying tribute
to Vince Starky,

626
00:36:19,381 --> 00:36:21,980
'whose death police say
they are treating as suspicious.'

627
00:36:21,981 --> 00:36:23,421
TV STOPS

628
00:37:01,341 --> 00:37:03,900
Toque su mano.
"I touched his hand."

629
00:37:03,901 --> 00:37:06,020
Su piel roja por el sol.

630
00:37:06,021 --> 00:37:07,381
"His skin was red, from the sun."

631
00:37:19,221 --> 00:37:22,340
What is it?
This is wrong.

632
00:37:22,341 --> 00:37:25,100
Vince was still alive
hours after this.

633
00:37:25,101 --> 00:37:26,820
How do you know?

634
00:37:26,821 --> 00:37:28,581
Because the dead don't burn.

635
00:37:32,901 --> 00:37:34,021
What?

636
00:37:49,901 --> 00:37:51,580
OK, here's a joke.

637
00:37:51,581 --> 00:37:55,900
What do a murderer
and a crap comedian have in common?

638
00:37:55,901 --> 00:37:58,140
They both perform a terrible act.

639
00:37:58,141 --> 00:37:59,381
Might nick that.

640
00:38:00,501 --> 00:38:03,180
Vince had an overwhelming urge
to put things right

641
00:38:03,181 --> 00:38:04,900
because of his cancer diagnosis.

642
00:38:04,901 --> 00:38:09,181
So he told Chris
that he was his real dad.

643
00:38:10,301 --> 00:38:11,660
Hang on, he said what?

644
00:38:11,661 --> 00:38:16,221
Chris got angry, pushed Vince,
who fell back and hit his head.

645
00:38:17,621 --> 00:38:20,100
You killed your dad?
No, he didn't.

646
00:38:20,101 --> 00:38:22,500
But you literally just said
that Vince was his dad!

647
00:38:22,501 --> 00:38:25,340
He was. But Chris didn't kill him.

648
00:38:25,341 --> 00:38:27,660
Is anyone else confused?

649
00:38:27,661 --> 00:38:31,700
When Vince's body was found,
his arms were red with sunburn.

650
00:38:31,701 --> 00:38:35,460
But in a photo taken the night
before he died, his arms were fine.

651
00:38:35,461 --> 00:38:40,380
Meaning he must have been alive
on the roof when the sun came up.

652
00:38:40,381 --> 00:38:41,620
How do you know that?

653
00:38:41,621 --> 00:38:44,220
Because dead people don't sunburn.

654
00:38:44,221 --> 00:38:46,460
I know, right?!
Every day's a school day.

655
00:38:46,461 --> 00:38:49,660
After Chris pushed Vince,
he might have looked dead,

656
00:38:49,661 --> 00:38:51,941
but he was only unconscious.

657
00:38:53,741 --> 00:38:55,820
Paco locked up the club at 2am.

658
00:38:55,821 --> 00:38:58,380
He thought everyone had gone.

659
00:38:58,381 --> 00:39:00,021
But someone
was still in the building.

660
00:39:05,501 --> 00:39:07,300
You were in so much debt

661
00:39:07,301 --> 00:39:11,260
you had to give up your apartment
and sleep in your office.

662
00:39:11,261 --> 00:39:12,540
The Benidorm Palace gigs

663
00:39:12,541 --> 00:39:14,861
were supposed to solve
all your problems, but...

664
00:39:15,901 --> 00:39:18,941
...Vince just wasn't
the box-office draw he once was.

665
00:39:20,941 --> 00:39:24,700
SCOFFS
Oh, that is hilarious.

666
00:39:24,701 --> 00:39:27,540
That is the funniest thing
I've heard in years.

667
00:39:27,541 --> 00:39:29,140
Not surprising.
I've been to your club.

668
00:39:29,141 --> 00:39:30,581
Hey, all right, mate.

669
00:39:31,581 --> 00:39:33,660
When the sun came up
the following day,

670
00:39:33,661 --> 00:39:37,300
Vince was still alive, still lying
on the roof where he fell.

671
00:39:37,301 --> 00:39:41,420
And he stayed there,
burning in the sun,

672
00:39:41,421 --> 00:39:44,700
until Ziggy came out onto the roof
for her first fag of the day.

673
00:39:44,701 --> 00:39:46,660
Come on, you don't know that.

674
00:39:46,661 --> 00:39:48,860
No, but I can make
a pretty good guess.

675
00:39:48,861 --> 00:39:52,020
You couldn't smoke in the office
cos it set off the alarm,

676
00:39:52,021 --> 00:39:55,261
and there's black circles on
the wall where you stubbed them out.

677
00:39:57,021 --> 00:39:58,540
Deductive reasoning.

678
00:39:58,541 --> 00:40:00,820
Actually, it's
inductive reasoning, because...

679
00:40:00,821 --> 00:40:01,981
Dennis...
Sorry.

680
00:40:03,861 --> 00:40:07,101
Anyway, when you got out there,
you found Vince.

681
00:40:09,341 --> 00:40:12,740
Bloody hell, what happened to you?

682
00:40:12,741 --> 00:40:14,380
HE GROANS SOFTLY

683
00:40:14,381 --> 00:40:17,501
Hang on, hang on,
I'll-I'll get you some help.

684
00:40:19,381 --> 00:40:22,020
And then you realised
this was an opportunity.

685
00:40:22,021 --> 00:40:25,460
Vince's gigs weren't selling.
You were gonna lose the lot.

686
00:40:25,461 --> 00:40:29,540
But if Vince died,
the event insurance would pay out.

687
00:40:29,541 --> 00:40:33,501
And there he was,
half dead on your roof.

688
00:40:34,781 --> 00:40:37,100
Nobody knew
you were in the building.

689
00:40:37,101 --> 00:40:40,660
If he died,
all your problems would be over.

690
00:40:40,661 --> 00:40:42,820
You just needed to make sure he did.

691
00:40:42,821 --> 00:40:43,861
THUD

692
00:40:51,381 --> 00:40:53,940
He probably
didn't even know you were there.

693
00:40:53,941 --> 00:40:56,141
IN SPANISH:

694
00:41:00,021 --> 00:41:03,220
After you killed him, you
had to get rid of the murder weapon.

695
00:41:03,221 --> 00:41:04,940
And, in a panic,
you threw it off the roof.

696
00:41:04,941 --> 00:41:07,740
But without the doorstop,
you were locked up there,

697
00:41:07,741 --> 00:41:09,141
at the scene of your own crime.

698
00:41:10,421 --> 00:41:13,500
So you called an engineer out
for the air-con

699
00:41:13,501 --> 00:41:16,020
and gave them Paco's number
to open up.

700
00:41:16,021 --> 00:41:17,781
IN SPANISH:

701
00:41:19,741 --> 00:41:21,261
Then you took your chance to escape.

702
00:41:29,101 --> 00:41:30,541
What a bloody mess.

703
00:41:31,741 --> 00:41:33,861
I knew I should've booked
Joe Pasquale.

704
00:41:41,141 --> 00:41:45,261
Mind, it's a long time
since I've been in a pair of these.

705
00:42:02,941 --> 00:42:04,500
LAUGHTER

706
00:42:04,501 --> 00:42:06,780
So, in Benidorm,
we have a lot of tourists.

707
00:42:06,781 --> 00:42:08,541
Hands up if you're on holiday.

708
00:42:11,221 --> 00:42:14,620
Have you noticed how the new
tourists look just like zombies?

709
00:42:14,621 --> 00:42:17,340
They're all staggering round
in packs,

710
00:42:17,341 --> 00:42:21,980
all white and pale with dark eyes,
on the hunt for cheap beer.

711
00:42:21,981 --> 00:42:23,460
LAUGHTER

712
00:42:23,461 --> 00:42:26,660
Invasion
Of The Boddingtons Snatchers...

713
00:42:26,661 --> 00:42:28,740
Where are you from, madam?

714
00:42:28,741 --> 00:42:30,900
Blackpool? Is this your husband?

715
00:42:30,901 --> 00:42:33,701
I think that's what they call
unconditional love.

716
00:42:35,381 --> 00:42:36,940
You have kids?

717
00:42:36,941 --> 00:42:38,220
No.

718
00:42:38,221 --> 00:42:40,741
35 years, ladies and gentlemen.
Give them a round of applause.

719
00:42:42,421 --> 00:42:44,100
Thanks for your help.

720
00:42:44,101 --> 00:42:46,460
Technically, I only asked you
to look at the crime scene.

721
00:42:46,461 --> 00:42:47,861
You know you're not getting paid.

722
00:42:49,101 --> 00:42:52,100
Justice is the only reward I seek.

723
00:42:52,101 --> 00:42:55,461
No, it's not. You asked
for a picture of me in the bath.

724
00:42:56,821 --> 00:42:59,580
That's optional.
Could be the shower.

725
00:42:59,581 --> 00:43:01,021
THEY LAUGH

726
00:43:03,661 --> 00:43:06,101
What about you, you got kids?

727
00:43:09,261 --> 00:43:10,461
No.

728
00:43:11,741 --> 00:43:12,981
No kids.

729
00:43:14,301 --> 00:43:16,780
Ladies and gentlemen, you've got
a cracking night of comedy

730
00:43:16,781 --> 00:43:18,820
in store for you
at the Laughter Lounge tonight.

731
00:43:18,821 --> 00:43:20,900
Thank you, all.
I've been Chris Mann.

732
00:43:20,901 --> 00:43:23,141
Have a good night.
CHEERS

733
00:43:25,421 --> 00:43:26,541
Look at him, eh!

734
00:43:27,581 --> 00:43:29,941
Told you. Well done, kidda!

735
00:43:31,181 --> 00:43:32,980
That's my son.
HE CHUCKLES

736
00:43:32,981 --> 00:43:34,981
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

737
00:43:47,301 --> 00:43:50,181
I've got a big surprise
for you guys!

738
00:43:51,341 --> 00:43:53,380
This has made the whole
weekend magical.

739
00:43:53,381 --> 00:43:55,500
SHE MUTTERS PRAYER
"Need your help."

740
00:43:55,501 --> 00:43:57,300
Estupendo, another case!

741
00:43:57,301 --> 00:43:59,500
Do you really think
it was one of her friends?

742
00:43:59,501 --> 00:44:01,980
Listen to me,
if you know what's good for you,

743
00:44:01,981 --> 00:44:03,580
you'll keep your mouth shut.

744
00:44:03,581 --> 00:44:04,940
This is so cool.

745
00:44:04,941 --> 00:44:07,060
Are you some kind
of special investigators?

746
00:44:07,061 --> 00:44:09,660
We are simply trying to help the
Spanish police find who did this.

747
00:44:09,661 --> 00:44:12,020
We're looking for information.
About the Irish woman?

748
00:44:12,021 --> 00:44:14,820
What are you doing here?
Does this feel right to you?

749
00:44:14,821 --> 00:44:15,980
They're all liars, Dennis!

750
00:44:15,981 --> 00:44:18,861
You look like
you could use another drink.